THREEEEE What?!

Dear Noel,Happy Birthday!!! You are THREE. That feels SO insane. I honestly feel like only a year has passed but somehow we're here and you're 3 already.

You are STILL nursing. You are addicted to your milkies for sure. I am trying to gently wean you but it's hard lol. It will take a while but eventually you will wean. So far you only nurse a couple times a day and a couple times throughout the night. Although, you would nurse ALL the time if I let you.

We've got you falling asleep in Lailah's bed. At first, you were NOT happy with that but over a few months time you're finally falling asleep in her bed with her more easily. You crawl into our bed around 3 or 5 am and nurse for 10 seconds tops and then you roll over and go back to sleep.

You talk A LOT. And you are SOOO funny lol You say things and end them with "dude" lol haha. It's adorable. You use words like surely and say things like "you've got a little problem" haha. When you say bridge it sounds like bitch bahaha. It's pretty hilarious.


You play A LOT and you have an extremely active imagination. You love both "boy" stuff and "girl" stuff. You love Paw Patrol, trucks, cars, super heroes, figurines, barbie dolls, stuffed animals, building tools like blocks and legos, and light sabers lol

You watch youtube kids a decent amount and you love nursery rhyme songs, learning about the body and germs, and you watch videos in at least 3 different languages lol. You're so bright and I am so proud of how much you have learned this past year.

You DO have quite a temper though and you get offended VERY easily. I honestly don't know why. Some say it's just your personality. For example daddy was playing with you but had to make dinner and you said, "Fine, I will just play by myself!" and you were very hurt and upset. You didn't understand that daddy wanted to play with you but he was busy. I offered to play with you but you didn't want to play with me. You were playing with me before daddy came in lol but I don't play as well as he does I guess lol. I try!

You're a handful though and since having you I've halted having more children and I'm not sure if I want anymore. I just don't want to add another baby into our lives when you already are struggling sometimes... a baby would cause more stress on all of us, not just you. And I want to be able to split my time with you and Lailah, it would be harder to do with another baby - I fear jealousy issues coming up.

You don't really get along with kids under the age of 4 lol. You can get quite aggressive, throw things, scream, hit and punch, and kick... it takes a lot of energy to help you calm down. Sometimes I resort to threatening you - telling you the police could come and take you from us. Which is an honest fear I have - CPS is scary and they're a pretty big business. They should be taking kids from bad families, and I don't feel I am a bad mom, but they don't. They have shown to be pretty corrupt sometimes. And sometimes I tell you that if you don't stop screaming (literally after 30-45 mins of you screaming like you're being murdered) I tell you that I will have to put you in the spare room alone until you calm down. Which you actually do. I felt really guilty about it and I hated myself for it but others suggested that you may get sensory overloaded and that the lack of sensory triggers in the spare room helps you regain control. Which I could see how that would work. Less noise, less light, you're out of the situation which heated you, and you get a change in envionment. I'e only ever put you in there a handful of times and for 1 min tops. Last time I did that you came out, ate some food, sat in front of the heater quietly, then put yourself to bed. *shrugs. I hope that I'm doing the "right" thing, I don't know what else to do and I don't want to physically punish you ever so this is the best I got.

I'm actually proud of myself when it comes to you both - you and Lailah. I am not perfect but I try my best every day. I hope one day you'll both see that.
I love you so incredibly much,
Love Mommy. <3

Night weaning.

• Night 1: Daddy laid with you in bed starting at 1am. 2:30am you were finally asleep after much whispering to yourself. 2:30 he finally fell asleep.  You woke up at 4am and crawled into bed with me. At first you just let me cuddle you back to sleep. Lailah fell out of bed around 5am and when she came into bed with us you woke up. You latched on very quickly so I said ten seconds and you handled that ok. Then around 6am daddy's alarm went off and I got up to use the bathroom and you woke up again. You cried a bit until I got back into bed. At this point, I don't even remember if you nursed or not... I must have been half asleep. I was just woken up by you nursing. I don't remember you latching on and I have no idea how long you've been there. But I woke up because I was getting uncomfortable and wanted you to unlatch. 

• Night 2: Daddy laid with you in bed starting around 12am. You fell asleep around 1:30am. You woke up around 3:45am and came into bed with me. You cuddled then fell back asleep. At around 5am you woke up, nursed a bit, went back to sleep.

• Night 3: Mommy laid down and nursed you at around 10pm, you fell asleep. You semi-woke up crying around 11:30, then 12 and went back to sleep on your own. At around 1 you woke up and came into bed with us, we were still awake. You stayed up. Daddy put you back into bed around 2:15am.

• Night 4: We went up to a hotel for Lailah's cheer competition. We went to bed around 10:30pm or so. You nursed for 15 seconds and then went to sleep. You slept the night. 

• Night 5: Daddy put you to bed around 2am, you woke up around 3am, we cuddled and you went back to sleep. I don't remember past there.

• Night 6: You wanted to eat my ice cream around 2am. I told you that if you ate it you were going to bed in your own bed that night. You said ok. You cried some but daddy tucked you in. You got up a few times to jump around and kiss me and daddy multiple times but then you crawled back into bed. Daddy told you he was proud of you. You fell asleep. Around 3am daddy and I went in the shower, you woke up and came in. Afterwards you nursed for a couple mins then you wanted me to tuck you in. I tucked you into your own bed and you peacefully went to sleep. Around 5am you woke up crying and upset. I told you we would cuddle but not nurse. You cried. I told you to go lay in your own bed then. You did and cried for a couple mins. I got up to use the bathroom, you came back into our bed. When I got back, you said we could just cuddle. We cuddled and you fell back asleep. 

• Night 7: Around 12 midnight you fell asleep on your own. You woke up around 1 when daddy tried to move you into your own bed, cranky and crying, you used the bathroom, daddy held you and calmed you down and then you laid back down in your bed. You went back to sleep right away with a little back rub. You woke up again around 3:30am and  nursed you until you fell asleep. But then you woke up again around 4am and cried a bit, nursed, then went back to sleep. 
• Night 8: I gave you a 1 min nursing limit and then you transferred to your own bed very easily at 2am. You woke up around an hour later and fussed some. You then came into bed with daddy and I and you went right back to sleep with some cuddling. You then slept through the night until around 11am when you nursed again. 

Toddler test answers

TODDLER TEST (Age 2 years 10.5 months)

No coaching them, just ask and write the response down:

•What is your name? Noel

•How old are you? two! I'm five. Four, four *runs away* ahhhh!!

•How old am I? Uh, two.

•What is your favorite color? Um, red and blue. red and blue and black and uhhh and orange! like that.

•What is your favorite food? ummm cake!!

•Who is your best friend? umm idk... yep, it's Elmo!

•What is your favorite TV show? umm Star wars!

•What is your favorite movie? ummm idk.

•What is your favorite song? like this, lalalala! like that.

•What is your favorite animal? Umm elephant!

•What are you scared of? Lions. I'm scared of lions.

•What makes you happy? Elephants! Elephant make me happy!!

•Where is your favorite place to go? um McDonalds (we never go to mcdonald lmaoo)

•What do you want to be when you grow up? A giant!!!

•What does love mean? Love you!

Closing in on age 3.

Dear Noel,
You are closing in on age 3 as you are not 2.75. I have a feeling that 3 is going to be more difficult than 2 has been with you. You are very strong minded and you stay firm in your thoughts. You get offended easily and you've started spitting (raspberries) at people whenever you feel upset in the slightest. When you get upset you get really really upset, you yell, kick, scream, hit, punch, kick, throw things, and you're relentless. I'm sure it's because of your age and brain development, your prefrontal cortex is not yet developed enough for impulse control or emotional regulation.
Recently you're been jumping on me often and hitting me. I think it's because we've been cutting down nursing sessions. I have been starting to feel completely exhausted and touched out because you were wanting to nurse literally every 5-10 mins all day and all night long. It just wasn't working out for my mental or emotional health. It's stressful nursing a toddler lol.
You've started going to sleep at night with your sister in her bed and then after a few hours you crawl into my bed but we don't nurse at night anymore, you know that nursing resumes when the sun comes up and no longer when it's dark out. Sometimes you protest and other times you're ok with just cuddling.

You're still an incredible little human and I am so happy to have you in my life. Lately, you've been asking daddy and I for a baby sister. You say you will share your milkies. <3 So sweet.
You had your face painted for the first time the other day and you loved it. You chose the unicorn face painting. You kept staring at yourself in the mirror lol you loved it so much! Oh and you also want to be tinkerbell for halloween. :) Whatever makes you happy. :)

2.5 years old!!

Dear Noel,
You are 2.5 years old. You have the most interesting and fascinating personality I've ever known lol. You seem to get offended easily - you don't like when someone tries to help you, giggles because they think you're cute, laughs around you and you don't know why, etc. You get extremely bashful when you're complimented. You look down, smile bashfully, and say thank you. It is the sweetest thing lol.

You are also so so so intelligent. You pick up on things so quickly. You can count to 11 on your own, you pretty much know all your colors even though you mix some up sometimes, you know all the basic shapes, and you are super athletic and high energy lol. Whenever someone calls you a toddler or says you're hungry etc you tell them, "No, I'm Noel." haha. It's adorable.
We went to the beach a couple days ago and you absolutely loved it. They had a small turtle slide that went into the water and you were going down it often. You proudly announced, "I AM SO HAPPY!" lol <3

You are still breastfeeding!! I don't know that you were ever wean lol! You are obsessed with milkies and you tell me and daddy that my boobs are yours haha. You are attached at my breast nearly every single waking moment. It drives me INSANE most of the time haha. I deal with it though because I know that milkies is your comfort, your safety, and your nutrition. You'll wean one day.... in your own time.

You speak extremely well for your age. You are talking in full, easily understood sentences. Everyone that meets you is shocked that you are only 2.5 because you speak so well and your thoughts are so well articulated and thought out.

You get along with your sister extremely well - you both love playing together. The only time you ever argue is when one of you is using the phone for Youtube kids or games because the other always wants to watch or take over. I have recently been trying to put the phone away so that you both can't fight and argue over it. I feel that your relationship is far more important than an electronic.





HAHA oh, and you went through a phase for a few months where you got into EVERYTHING you possibly could.






You would dump every water bottle you could find all over the floor, Parmesan cheese EVERYWHERE, cereal, diaper rash cream HAHA. Oh man, I have to post the photos. We never got mad, we understand that you're curious, learning, and growing. We just help you clean it up. We did teach you that water belongs either in your mouth/belly or in the tub and not all over the floor. Thankfully you caught onto that semi quickly and after a couple weeks you would ask to play with water in the tub instead.

You are TWO!!! Oh how time fliessss!

Dear Noel,
You have turned 2!!!! Sorry that this is a few weeks late... I have been so incredibly busy lately. You keep me on my toes and busy!! LOL

Your personality has blossomed!! You say SO many words now... I can't even count how many you know.. you learn dozens more each and every day. You are currently a little sponge that picks up on and mimics everything!! It is a lot of fun interacting with you and observing you!

You have finally started recognizing that you are your own person a month or two before your 2nd birthday!! You use terms like, me and mine. You also know your name and refer to yourself by it now too!! You no longer get mad at yourself in the mirror lol or seeing yourself on the camera. :p You say, "That's ME!! NOEL!" :D

You are so incredibly intelligent! You know some letters even! You speak better than any children I've ever known or currently know that are your age. In daycare at Mamee's you speak better and more than all of the children your age, even the ones older than you by 6 months!

We have finally hit the World Health Organization recommendation of 2 years of breastfeeding!!! I can't believe that we have made it to two years. You are addicted to your "milkies" lol. When I first gave birth to you and started this journey I had faith we would get to where we are today on our nursing journey - and here we are!! I am so proud of us and that I've been able to give you the nutritionally best start in life.

You LOVE Star Wars so much. LOL You're JUST like your daddy!! You also LOVE Daniel Tiger and Super Why the most out of all the shows you watch. But you happily watch a lot of shows with your sister that she wants to watch :).








You have an incredible personality... you NEED respect. You function SO EXTREMELY well if you are respected and feel understood. You ALWAYS make the right choice if you're allowed to make the choice for yourself on your own with polite encouragement. You hate feeling forced to do something, you hate feeling disrespected, and you hate pressure. Which is completely understandable!!

In the car we play a game where you shout, "Mommy, GOOOO" when I'm at a redlight and I say, "Red light!!" then you reply, "Green light!!!" LOL You love it haha. And you actually once told me, "Mommy GOOOO, HIT CARS!!" lmfao. I tried to explain that we can't just hit the other cars lol but you don't seem to understand or care :p.

You recognize where we are often... you know when we are at Mamee's house or our house - although you call our home "Lailah's house" LOL.
Unlike most toddlers you LOVE naps, bedtime, showers, and vegetables!!! You get extremely excited over all of those things. "night night time." "sleepies". "yayyyy bath!!". and "cahits and broccoli!" You actually can say broccoli but carrots sounds like cats sort of haha.







For Christmas we got you and your sissy a big tool table complete with tools and fake wood etc to build with. You love it!! We also got a big kitchen set complete with food and plates etc. You love that as well!! For smaller things we got you dinosaurs, and a road play mat. :) You had so much fun this Christmas and had a blast!!