Age 7

 Dear Noel, 

You are 7. You had a tough run returning to school for 1st grade after being on distance learning most of the year. Your first teacher was terrible, you didn’t like her, and even told me that she flipped another students desk snd threatened you and other students frequently. I filed a complaint against her and switched your teacher. I didn’t much like that one either though. Thankfully, you weren’t in her class for long. You’re on your way to 2nd grade now. You’ve also started therapy with Miss Allie. You like her and I do too. So far things have been going good.  

You’ve grown up so much this year, I guess a pandemic would do that. You’ve gotten through it all so well though and I’m so proud of you. 

You are quite the little artist, you love drawing and making super hero characters and animals. You love mine craft, adopt me, and some other video games too. You kiss daddy a lot when he’s at work and that’s hard for you. Video game time is your time to connect and when you don’t get it, it’s really hard for you. 

You struggle with self esteem issues, I’m not sure why but that’s why I have you in therapy. You’re harsh with yourself and sometimes literally beat yourself up. It hurts my heart. 

I love you. Im so happy you’re here with us and I can’t imagine it any other way. Please, never leave us. You mean the world to me and more. 

Such a crazy year

 You’re 7 already. This past year has been pretty crazy. Your first year of kindergarten was disrupted by a flu like illness that’s caused a pandemic. For the first time in history children continued schooling through a laptop. Your generation is the first and only generation which has done school at a distance on a laptop 6 hours a day 9-3. I’m in awe of how well you accepted it and did your very best. 💙 

Medically I believe that you struggle with ADHD and so with your school now (you’ve just returned about a month ago) I’m working to get you your diagnoses so that you can receive any help that you need within the school system. It’s a tough system and I want you to be supported through it. 

You’re very attached to me still, you need to cuddle with me each night to fall asleep. I’m perfectly ok with it, 💗 sometimes though I wish you could sleep on your own because you squish me in the bed haha you’re getting so big! 

You love learning about animals- you know a ton of random animal facts. You also love playing Nintendo switch video games, playing Roblox, watching YouTube kids, watching shows on Netflix and Disney plus, and listening to me read Harry Potter.

 You are not a fan of school and you don’t really like your new teacher. I don’t blame you, I’m not really liking her either. :/ but this year will be short and hopefully you’ll have a better teacher next year. 

You fight with your sisters an awful lot. You get very easily triggered by them and they you. You and Lailah especially. You both instantly scream at each other and see the worst in each other. I wish I knew how to help your relationship. The only time you guys get along pretty well is when you’re playing Roblox together. 

I’ve got to go though because I had you get some books so that we could read together. I love you so much. I’ll cuddle you until I can’t anymore. 💙 

Almost 5!

Dear Noel,

You're 5 in a bit over a week. Time has flown. I feel like I've just had you and 5 years have already passed. I love you so very very much. You are a spit-fire, you're strong willed, self conscious, fun, observant, caring, kind, intelligent, you're a joker and so silly and funny, and sometimes very overwhelming to be honest. :P
 I can't imagine life without you. I just can't believe my baby boy isn't much a baby anymore but he's this gorgeous little boy now.









You are so inquisitive, you love learning, you are super intelligent and you watch so much that you learn from on Youtube - which btw you absolutely LOVE lol. Your favorite shows right now are My Little Pony, The Flash, Teen Titans Go, Skylanders, True and the Rainbow Kingdom, Boss Baby, Lego movies, Pokemon, Yo-Kai oh and you love any movie that has talking animals in it lol.


You got glasses this past year for distances but you've already lost them so I have to get your prescription and order new ones. You love baths but absolutely hate washing your hair. You love legos and building blocks but your favorite toys are little action figures - especially Imaginext which is a certain brand of action figures and their little buildings or whatever lol ANDD of course, you love sweets. You typically prefer vanilla ice cream, you love gummies, m&ms, candies, sweets, cake, pie, pretty much anything sugar. But I'm going to work on changing your diet to a much healthier one soon.

You still make quite a lot of messes and although you've stopped dumping water, thankfully, you've started leaving bottles of water open all around the house, caps lost - which end up getting spilled. Oh and of course you hate cleaning haha.

You've had your tonsils removed earlier this year since they were too large and causing you to have sleep apnea, which led to a whole lot of night terrors. Although the night terrors and sleep apnea have ended you began wetting the bed nightly so now you wear a pull up to bed. It's pretty normal though for many boys your age to still wet the bed at night and ultimately it means you're sleeping deeper and getting a better rest at night - which you definitely need.






You have your tough moment. Last Friday I brought you to the pediatrician to get a referral to a pediatric neuro-psychiatrist because I'm pretty positive you have sensory processing disorder and possibly add/adhd. You struggle sometimes and when you struggle you can have meltdowns that last over an hour - these consist of screaming, crying, telling us you hate us, that you're stupid, that we're stupid, that we're ugly, that nobody loves or cares about you. I try to reassure you that we love you, that I love you very much and that those thoughts aren't true but that I understand that that's how you feel in the moment. You have sometimes threatened your baby sister Thea, even thought she does nothing to you and you've physically harmed and sought out to harm your older sister, Lailah. That does not define you, it impo just shows the struggle that goes on within you. You almost always have a trigger and it's typically a noise trigger. I'm thinking of getting you some noise canceling headphones to wear and see if that helps.

You are a great brother when you're stable and in a healthy state of mind. You are caring, kind, loving, you apologize on your own for mistakes, you kiss boo boos, you especially are helpful and loving towards Althea, and you do your best with Lailah when given the right environment and circumstances - you guys can really get along well sometimes.
When you have your meltdowns I offer you my lap where I hug and hold you and tell you how much I love you while I stroke your hair and rub your back. When you hurt someone I take you into your room and sit with you, my arms open and ready for you to jump in for comfort when you're ready, usually you do but not for about 45 mins. If you continue to try to hurt others or you start throwing or damaging things I have told you that if you continue I will have to bring you to the mental health hospital. That absolutely is not at all what I want for you, but I need to keep our home safe and ultimately I want to protect you from getting to a place that will be harder for you to find your way out of through your years or for you to do something that you regret that could follow you through your life.

I love you so much Noel. It's true what they say that mommy's and son's have a special bond. <3 You're so much like me, which is why I understand and try so hard to help you through your struggles. I just hope that I'm what you need and that I can guide you into adulthood the way you need.  I am not a perfect mom and I doubt that I'll ever be a perfect mom. I yell, I get frustrated, I am human, you know?

But at the end of the day I'll always be sure that I do my best, I promise, no matter what, I'll do my personal best.



Love, Mommy <3

FOUR?! It's flown!

Dear Noel,
You've turned 4. You've learned a lot this past year and you've grown so much.
You liked Paw Patrol the good majority of the year - you were even Marshall for Halloween. I crocheted the hat for you. You loved it at the time. But then something happened.. I assume it was one of my mom step sons - your "uncles" that you look up to... I am assuming that one made a remark that you viewed negatively toward Paw Patrol. Because like a switch - you hated them once November came around. You now call them "stupid" and "dumb" and "ugly".

You are a very outspoken kid. We are working with you on teaching you better words to use, but I am pretty sure it's just your age.
You are also fascinated with talking about poop, butts, and fart. I never believed in the "girls gravitate toward girl things and boys gravitate toward boy things... 'boy' things and 'girl' things... but you make me a believer, kid lol.
You've taken a liking to transformers this year and "boom booms" - play guns.
You don't really like scary things but you handle them better than Lailah does... although Nick showed you a scary show about a doll that moves and some "possessed" things/ ghosts... and so you've been talking about it a lot as your way to process it.. I've been going through this process with you trying to help you process it so that you don't get stuck with the fears long term... hopefully.
You are so so sweet. You are thoughtful, kind, and helpful. For Christmas you got a bubble bath set and you were telling daddy about it and you said 'yeah, but I won't use it all, because then Lailah can use it too, she likes bubble baths!"

You also live dangerously. On New years Eve you crawled under Mamee's table, the chairs were ontop so the dogs wouldn't get on the table, and one fell down ontop of you when you bumped into it. You get a pretty good gash on the right side of your scalp - you needed 2 staples at the ER.
You described the sensation of a headache as a "bug knocking" behind your eyebrow lol. SO cutee.


You have learned how to spell your name out loud N-O-E-L, and you practice writing it, but your N's are always backwards and look more like partial W's, and you struggle with making e's as well. But it's ok! You're only 4 :) It's the attempts that show your drive to learn and motivation to learn new things.

You've also gotten really good at puzzles! You put together a 48 piece puzzle on your own!

You've such a good soul and I'm so happy to have you in our lives these past 4 years. I love you so so much.

You've been telling me that you're excited to meet your sister and to share your milkies with her (you're completely weaned now but still see them as yours). You say that you're going to teach her a whole bunch of things - and I'm sure you will :) I hope you both get along well once she's big enough.

I love you <3 I can't wait to continue this life long journey of experiences and realities with you.
<3 mommy

1 week weaned

Dear Noel,
You have been weaned for a whole week today. I am so proud of you. You've been handling it extremely well and I am excited to move forward into the new chapters of your life with you. Nursing you has been an incredible experience and I am so glad that I had that opportunity and time to bond with you while also providing you with the most nutritious thing ever created for humans.

You've been growing by leaps and bounds. You've taken interest lately in learning about different dog breeds, having me read books and stories to you, and learning letters. You know all your shapes and colors. You are a very bright mind.

I am so glad and appreciative that I have you in my life. I hope that we continue to have a strong relationship together as you move forward into your childhood years.

I love you,
love, mommy <3

As a side note, you've picked up your own little thing that you do.

You hold your hand up in the air and you float it around while saying, "There's a little alien in outer space, he flies around looking for food, then goes om nom nom and eats your face!"
as you close your hand on our face. lol it's so cute. It reminds me of little bunny foo foo and other cute things. <3

Stuggling emotionally. Weaning

Wanted to post this here so that we can always remember this moment.
You've been weaning from breastfeeding for the past 2 days now. And not on your own free will, although, you are accepting it extremely well. I am SO proud of you.

Noel just had his first difficult emotional struggle since we've ended breastfeeding.
He cried a lot but he wasn't being harmful to anyone or anything.
I held him for a while and just let him cry. It was overwhelming for me but I knew that if I told him to stop crying, if I punished him, if I threatened him, if I got frustrated and screamed at him that I couldn't handle it (all things I truly impulsively wanted to do because of MY OWN emotional internal struggle) that he wouldn't be allowed or able to process his strong emotions, that he wouldn't be able to learn how to self regulate.
I put my own emotions aside so that I could help my son through this very difficult time I can only imagine he was having. We've had a long day out at the speedway and we woke up early this morning. I assume he must be tired and overstimulated from today.
Well anyhow, he cried, he cried a lot. For around 30-45 mins. And let me tell you, it was HARD for ME too.
I tried to talk to him, to comfort him because I KNEW he was hurting and I wanted to "fix", I wanted to "help". But then I remembered that the part of his brain that can process logic and that could hear me out was shut down, and the emotional part of his brain was currently in charge.
I stopped talking other than letting him know, "I am here for you. I love you very much." or to ask "is it ok if I rub your back?" or "do you want me to hold you?" Although, he didn't really "hear" those either.
I've found that holding my arms out and just offering support by body language was most beneficial and helpful. He went back and forth from my lap - being held/hugged/and rocked, to sitting/laying right next to me. When he was next to me, he didn't want to be touched or talked to at all, understandable. I know that sometimes when I'm really upset I don't want to be touched or talked to either - those in themselves can be much more triggering. Fair enough.
My husband tried to comfort our son by rubbing his back but Noel protested, shouting louder. I explained that sometimes people in general don't like to be touched. My husband reflected quickly and then understood. He then tried to talk to Noel but I explained that the logical part of his brain was turned off at this time and the best we could do was wait him out. My husband nodded. I could tell he felt similarly as I did - he just wanted to "help" and "fix". I guess that's just what we want to do as parents.
Noel finally started regulating back to his usual state - although, understandably still feeling upset, sad, and I would guess overwhelmed. Perfectly normal, I remember feeling those ways too after crying.
He then spoke. "Can I have your phone to play a game?"
I knew he was trying to find a coping skill - all on his own. He was looking for a way to self sooth without turning to milkies. He was asking for help ON HIS OWN.
I said gently, "I don't think that's a good idea right now, maybe later on when you feel calmer."
He understandably was upset again. He sat near me, the disappointment, frustration, and anger written on his face.
I empathized with his struggle.
I asked if he would like to color but he didn't.
I reached out to a friend, explained the situation and asked if she had ideas that could help.
I then saw a couple of Noel's toys laying near us. I had an idea.
I grabbed Noel's Catboy and Dragon that he LOVES so much and I started playing with them in front of him.
Then Noel pushed them both away, showing his frustration but I noticed something else as well. The light in his eyes.
I tried again.
He pushed them away again, this time playfully.
I dramatically pretended to have his toys soar through the air before crashing into the bed. He giggled.
I took catboy and I dodged Noel's punches as I had catboy tickle attack him. He laughed some more.
He then punched catboy over and over.
Some may think this encourages aggression but I disagree - it's a stuffed animal and I think it's great for him to let that energy out on a soft object rather than a person or hard object.
He then picked catboy up, turned to his daddy and said, "Daddy, will you play with me?"
Of course daddy played with him!
"tantrum" subsided, "tantrum" understood as extremely overwhelming and difficult emotions that HAD to be released, "tantrum" worked through positively for ALL of us.
I'm proud. I'm proud of him, I'm proud of me, I'm proud of my husband, I am proud of us ALL.
Parenting consciously, with empathy, respect for our little ones, gently, and patiently is HARD. But oh so, so so, very worth it.
#mommylifewithlaiandnoel

THREEEEE What?!

Dear Noel,Happy Birthday!!! You are THREE. That feels SO insane. I honestly feel like only a year has passed but somehow we're here and you're 3 already.

You are STILL nursing. You are addicted to your milkies for sure. I am trying to gently wean you but it's hard lol. It will take a while but eventually you will wean. So far you only nurse a couple times a day and a couple times throughout the night. Although, you would nurse ALL the time if I let you.

We've got you falling asleep in Lailah's bed. At first, you were NOT happy with that but over a few months time you're finally falling asleep in her bed with her more easily. You crawl into our bed around 3 or 5 am and nurse for 10 seconds tops and then you roll over and go back to sleep.

You talk A LOT. And you are SOOO funny lol You say things and end them with "dude" lol haha. It's adorable. You use words like surely and say things like "you've got a little problem" haha. When you say bridge it sounds like bitch bahaha. It's pretty hilarious.


You play A LOT and you have an extremely active imagination. You love both "boy" stuff and "girl" stuff. You love Paw Patrol, trucks, cars, super heroes, figurines, barbie dolls, stuffed animals, building tools like blocks and legos, and light sabers lol

You watch youtube kids a decent amount and you love nursery rhyme songs, learning about the body and germs, and you watch videos in at least 3 different languages lol. You're so bright and I am so proud of how much you have learned this past year.

You DO have quite a temper though and you get offended VERY easily. I honestly don't know why. Some say it's just your personality. For example daddy was playing with you but had to make dinner and you said, "Fine, I will just play by myself!" and you were very hurt and upset. You didn't understand that daddy wanted to play with you but he was busy. I offered to play with you but you didn't want to play with me. You were playing with me before daddy came in lol but I don't play as well as he does I guess lol. I try!

You're a handful though and since having you I've halted having more children and I'm not sure if I want anymore. I just don't want to add another baby into our lives when you already are struggling sometimes... a baby would cause more stress on all of us, not just you. And I want to be able to split my time with you and Lailah, it would be harder to do with another baby - I fear jealousy issues coming up.

You don't really get along with kids under the age of 4 lol. You can get quite aggressive, throw things, scream, hit and punch, and kick... it takes a lot of energy to help you calm down. Sometimes I resort to threatening you - telling you the police could come and take you from us. Which is an honest fear I have - CPS is scary and they're a pretty big business. They should be taking kids from bad families, and I don't feel I am a bad mom, but they don't. They have shown to be pretty corrupt sometimes. And sometimes I tell you that if you don't stop screaming (literally after 30-45 mins of you screaming like you're being murdered) I tell you that I will have to put you in the spare room alone until you calm down. Which you actually do. I felt really guilty about it and I hated myself for it but others suggested that you may get sensory overloaded and that the lack of sensory triggers in the spare room helps you regain control. Which I could see how that would work. Less noise, less light, you're out of the situation which heated you, and you get a change in envionment. I'e only ever put you in there a handful of times and for 1 min tops. Last time I did that you came out, ate some food, sat in front of the heater quietly, then put yourself to bed. *shrugs. I hope that I'm doing the "right" thing, I don't know what else to do and I don't want to physically punish you ever so this is the best I got.

I'm actually proud of myself when it comes to you both - you and Lailah. I am not perfect but I try my best every day. I hope one day you'll both see that.
I love you so incredibly much,
Love Mommy. <3

Night weaning.

• Night 1: Daddy laid with you in bed starting at 1am. 2:30am you were finally asleep after much whispering to yourself. 2:30 he finally fell asleep.  You woke up at 4am and crawled into bed with me. At first you just let me cuddle you back to sleep. Lailah fell out of bed around 5am and when she came into bed with us you woke up. You latched on very quickly so I said ten seconds and you handled that ok. Then around 6am daddy's alarm went off and I got up to use the bathroom and you woke up again. You cried a bit until I got back into bed. At this point, I don't even remember if you nursed or not... I must have been half asleep. I was just woken up by you nursing. I don't remember you latching on and I have no idea how long you've been there. But I woke up because I was getting uncomfortable and wanted you to unlatch. 

• Night 2: Daddy laid with you in bed starting around 12am. You fell asleep around 1:30am. You woke up around 3:45am and came into bed with me. You cuddled then fell back asleep. At around 5am you woke up, nursed a bit, went back to sleep.

• Night 3: Mommy laid down and nursed you at around 10pm, you fell asleep. You semi-woke up crying around 11:30, then 12 and went back to sleep on your own. At around 1 you woke up and came into bed with us, we were still awake. You stayed up. Daddy put you back into bed around 2:15am.

• Night 4: We went up to a hotel for Lailah's cheer competition. We went to bed around 10:30pm or so. You nursed for 15 seconds and then went to sleep. You slept the night. 

• Night 5: Daddy put you to bed around 2am, you woke up around 3am, we cuddled and you went back to sleep. I don't remember past there.

• Night 6: You wanted to eat my ice cream around 2am. I told you that if you ate it you were going to bed in your own bed that night. You said ok. You cried some but daddy tucked you in. You got up a few times to jump around and kiss me and daddy multiple times but then you crawled back into bed. Daddy told you he was proud of you. You fell asleep. Around 3am daddy and I went in the shower, you woke up and came in. Afterwards you nursed for a couple mins then you wanted me to tuck you in. I tucked you into your own bed and you peacefully went to sleep. Around 5am you woke up crying and upset. I told you we would cuddle but not nurse. You cried. I told you to go lay in your own bed then. You did and cried for a couple mins. I got up to use the bathroom, you came back into our bed. When I got back, you said we could just cuddle. We cuddled and you fell back asleep. 

• Night 7: Around 12 midnight you fell asleep on your own. You woke up around 1 when daddy tried to move you into your own bed, cranky and crying, you used the bathroom, daddy held you and calmed you down and then you laid back down in your bed. You went back to sleep right away with a little back rub. You woke up again around 3:30am and  nursed you until you fell asleep. But then you woke up again around 4am and cried a bit, nursed, then went back to sleep. 
• Night 8: I gave you a 1 min nursing limit and then you transferred to your own bed very easily at 2am. You woke up around an hour later and fussed some. You then came into bed with daddy and I and you went right back to sleep with some cuddling. You then slept through the night until around 11am when you nursed again. 

Toddler test answers

TODDLER TEST (Age 2 years 10.5 months)

No coaching them, just ask and write the response down:

•What is your name? Noel

•How old are you? two! I'm five. Four, four *runs away* ahhhh!!

•How old am I? Uh, two.

•What is your favorite color? Um, red and blue. red and blue and black and uhhh and orange! like that.

•What is your favorite food? ummm cake!!

•Who is your best friend? umm idk... yep, it's Elmo!

•What is your favorite TV show? umm Star wars!

•What is your favorite movie? ummm idk.

•What is your favorite song? like this, lalalala! like that.

•What is your favorite animal? Umm elephant!

•What are you scared of? Lions. I'm scared of lions.

•What makes you happy? Elephants! Elephant make me happy!!

•Where is your favorite place to go? um McDonalds (we never go to mcdonald lmaoo)

•What do you want to be when you grow up? A giant!!!

•What does love mean? Love you!

Closing in on age 3.

Dear Noel,
You are closing in on age 3 as you are not 2.75. I have a feeling that 3 is going to be more difficult than 2 has been with you. You are very strong minded and you stay firm in your thoughts. You get offended easily and you've started spitting (raspberries) at people whenever you feel upset in the slightest. When you get upset you get really really upset, you yell, kick, scream, hit, punch, kick, throw things, and you're relentless. I'm sure it's because of your age and brain development, your prefrontal cortex is not yet developed enough for impulse control or emotional regulation.
Recently you're been jumping on me often and hitting me. I think it's because we've been cutting down nursing sessions. I have been starting to feel completely exhausted and touched out because you were wanting to nurse literally every 5-10 mins all day and all night long. It just wasn't working out for my mental or emotional health. It's stressful nursing a toddler lol.
You've started going to sleep at night with your sister in her bed and then after a few hours you crawl into my bed but we don't nurse at night anymore, you know that nursing resumes when the sun comes up and no longer when it's dark out. Sometimes you protest and other times you're ok with just cuddling.

You're still an incredible little human and I am so happy to have you in my life. Lately, you've been asking daddy and I for a baby sister. You say you will share your milkies. <3 So sweet.
You had your face painted for the first time the other day and you loved it. You chose the unicorn face painting. You kept staring at yourself in the mirror lol you loved it so much! Oh and you also want to be tinkerbell for halloween. :) Whatever makes you happy. :)

2.5 years old!!

Dear Noel,
You are 2.5 years old. You have the most interesting and fascinating personality I've ever known lol. You seem to get offended easily - you don't like when someone tries to help you, giggles because they think you're cute, laughs around you and you don't know why, etc. You get extremely bashful when you're complimented. You look down, smile bashfully, and say thank you. It is the sweetest thing lol.

You are also so so so intelligent. You pick up on things so quickly. You can count to 11 on your own, you pretty much know all your colors even though you mix some up sometimes, you know all the basic shapes, and you are super athletic and high energy lol. Whenever someone calls you a toddler or says you're hungry etc you tell them, "No, I'm Noel." haha. It's adorable.
We went to the beach a couple days ago and you absolutely loved it. They had a small turtle slide that went into the water and you were going down it often. You proudly announced, "I AM SO HAPPY!" lol <3

You are still breastfeeding!! I don't know that you were ever wean lol! You are obsessed with milkies and you tell me and daddy that my boobs are yours haha. You are attached at my breast nearly every single waking moment. It drives me INSANE most of the time haha. I deal with it though because I know that milkies is your comfort, your safety, and your nutrition. You'll wean one day.... in your own time.

You speak extremely well for your age. You are talking in full, easily understood sentences. Everyone that meets you is shocked that you are only 2.5 because you speak so well and your thoughts are so well articulated and thought out.

You get along with your sister extremely well - you both love playing together. The only time you ever argue is when one of you is using the phone for Youtube kids or games because the other always wants to watch or take over. I have recently been trying to put the phone away so that you both can't fight and argue over it. I feel that your relationship is far more important than an electronic.





HAHA oh, and you went through a phase for a few months where you got into EVERYTHING you possibly could.






You would dump every water bottle you could find all over the floor, Parmesan cheese EVERYWHERE, cereal, diaper rash cream HAHA. Oh man, I have to post the photos. We never got mad, we understand that you're curious, learning, and growing. We just help you clean it up. We did teach you that water belongs either in your mouth/belly or in the tub and not all over the floor. Thankfully you caught onto that semi quickly and after a couple weeks you would ask to play with water in the tub instead.

You are TWO!!! Oh how time fliessss!

Dear Noel,
You have turned 2!!!! Sorry that this is a few weeks late... I have been so incredibly busy lately. You keep me on my toes and busy!! LOL

Your personality has blossomed!! You say SO many words now... I can't even count how many you know.. you learn dozens more each and every day. You are currently a little sponge that picks up on and mimics everything!! It is a lot of fun interacting with you and observing you!

You have finally started recognizing that you are your own person a month or two before your 2nd birthday!! You use terms like, me and mine. You also know your name and refer to yourself by it now too!! You no longer get mad at yourself in the mirror lol or seeing yourself on the camera. :p You say, "That's ME!! NOEL!" :D

You are so incredibly intelligent! You know some letters even! You speak better than any children I've ever known or currently know that are your age. In daycare at Mamee's you speak better and more than all of the children your age, even the ones older than you by 6 months!

We have finally hit the World Health Organization recommendation of 2 years of breastfeeding!!! I can't believe that we have made it to two years. You are addicted to your "milkies" lol. When I first gave birth to you and started this journey I had faith we would get to where we are today on our nursing journey - and here we are!! I am so proud of us and that I've been able to give you the nutritionally best start in life.

You LOVE Star Wars so much. LOL You're JUST like your daddy!! You also LOVE Daniel Tiger and Super Why the most out of all the shows you watch. But you happily watch a lot of shows with your sister that she wants to watch :).








You have an incredible personality... you NEED respect. You function SO EXTREMELY well if you are respected and feel understood. You ALWAYS make the right choice if you're allowed to make the choice for yourself on your own with polite encouragement. You hate feeling forced to do something, you hate feeling disrespected, and you hate pressure. Which is completely understandable!!

In the car we play a game where you shout, "Mommy, GOOOO" when I'm at a redlight and I say, "Red light!!" then you reply, "Green light!!!" LOL You love it haha. And you actually once told me, "Mommy GOOOO, HIT CARS!!" lmfao. I tried to explain that we can't just hit the other cars lol but you don't seem to understand or care :p.

You recognize where we are often... you know when we are at Mamee's house or our house - although you call our home "Lailah's house" LOL.
Unlike most toddlers you LOVE naps, bedtime, showers, and vegetables!!! You get extremely excited over all of those things. "night night time." "sleepies". "yayyyy bath!!". and "cahits and broccoli!" You actually can say broccoli but carrots sounds like cats sort of haha.







For Christmas we got you and your sissy a big tool table complete with tools and fake wood etc to build with. You love it!! We also got a big kitchen set complete with food and plates etc. You love that as well!! For smaller things we got you dinosaurs, and a road play mat. :) You had so much fun this Christmas and had a blast!!

20 Month update!!!

Dear Noel,
You've just reached 20 months!! You're getting tall! Although, Idk how tall lol and you're around 2 lbs. You are getting so big and your personality is blossoming incredibly. You are talking so much and saying far too many words to count. You are so smart and you know how to figure nearly everything out. You LOVE to jump as you sing, "hop hop hop!". You play pretend with your dinosaurs, blocks, pretending to eat fake food, and you can draw circles (sort of ish lol)!! You love your sister and you plays and learn with her every day. You still love mother goose club songs, you watch dinosaur music videos, your favorite shows include Sesame Street and Daniel Tiger, and you love singing along to the radio.

You are not a huge fan of other children, you rather play alone or with your sister though. You tend to hit or push other children if you feel they're invading your personal space or overstepping boundaries such as coming up to your dad or I, or trying to take a toy you're playing with. You get worked up very quickly but I'm pretty sure that's just your age - it's part of being a toddler. :)
You demand respect from everyone you are around. If people respect you you are more likely to obey to rules set or boundaries that have been set. You show understanding and patience - but ONLY if you feel respected. The moment you feel disrespected you sort of explode. You shout words like, "NO!, STOP, DON'T, LISTEN, and WON'T!" And you physically react very quickly: hitting, throwing something, knocking something down, etc. But again - that's because your prefrontal cortex hasn't began developing yet and that's necessary for emotional regulation and impulse control. You're just being a toddler and expressing your emotions in the only ways that you know how.

You are still BREASTFEEDING!!! <3 We share an incredible bond and I am so proud to know that you are getting the most amazing start in life directly from my body. All the vitamins, nutrients, calcium, antibodies, etc.... it's truly a miracle what the human body can do to support it's young. Although, we have started limiting the amount you nurse at night - mommy was losing a lot of sleep as you would wake up 6/7 times a night for milkies. I just couldn't deal. So lately before bed I've been gently explaining, "Okay so you're going to have milkies right now before bed, when you're done you are going to roll over and go to sleep okay? Then no more milkies until morning time." I should start saying "until it's light out." because I'm pretty sure you haven't been understanding what "morning" is. It's all new to me and we're working on it together. You've been doing pretty well at handling it - only waking up once or twice now to nurse, which is more tolerable for me. I can't imagine us fully weaning any time soon though.



You love swimming - as long as someone is in the pool with you. It took a while for you to warm up to the whole pool idea at all but once you did you loved it!! You started jumping into the pool for others to catch you (papa and I) and you even went down a slide into the pool all on your own a few times! LOL You weren't too fond of it yet you still went down it for some reason a few times until deciding it wasn't a good idea anymore hahaa. And you love the park. The slide is your favorite!! You also really love climbing! You are a dare devil!

18 months has flown by!

Dear Noel,
Goodness gracious child!!! You have turned 18 months and you have surely blossomed !! You speak over 35 words! You know mama, mommy, dada, daddy, Moe, Mamee, Lailah, Sissy, Qetsi (dog), up, go, home, stuck, apple, eat, eye, play, shoes, no, car, truck, zoo, ball, hat, bite, mine, baby, eww, bath, weeee, bye bye, birdy, hi, you ask "what's that?" and "where's -- (insert name or object)", and say "let's go".
(Added on 7/3/15 - doggy, cat, why, juice, outside, please, more, Brian, RAWR, yuck, yay, sock, why, rain, water, wet, hot, nanner (banana), out, and keys) These are all the ones I remember at least :p. Within the past 3 weeks your speech has expanded insanely. :D It's so amazing listening to you talk. Although, HAHA - you say a word that sound just like "cock" and we have NO idea what it is you're trying to say. You say every other word when you see it or when you need to tell us something you want or or want to do - but this word you just say it all the time. We have NO idea what it is besides hilarious lmao. <3




You can jump REALLY well now, you can climb and go down slides all on your own as well, and you make this gargling sound when you're attempting to tickle someone lol it's adorable "igle igle igle igle igle". LOL too cute.

We are still breastfeeding! We've made it to 18 months. :) You are getting an incredible amount of nutrients and antibodies from my breastmilk which is helping to develop your brain more and faster than other non breastfed babies and keep you healthy and strong! I am so proud of our journey and I'm going to be sad when it one day ends. But for now I will savor you being my little baby and our bonding and closeness that nursing brings to us.

You are quite the explorer!! You LOVE to be independent and walk around by yourself - at the zoo I let you lead us around and we follow closely behind. You run over to the next animal exhibit and you even climb up onto the fence and look into the animal exhibit and exclaim your "ohhhs" and "ahhhs" lol. You are not a child of fear at all. And at the mall you loveeeee the escalators and you proudly step on them as you hold either daddy or my hand. You are so courageous and curious. Not quite to a fault and hopefully it'll never come to that, but to a deeper level than I believe other children your age are.


Oh and a couple weekends ago we went to this event in Providence called "Discover the Dinosaurs", they had lifelike robotic dinosaurs and plastic dinosaurs, and a sand pit where you could uncover dinosaur bones.

 You had a BLAST! !! You absolutely loved it. You ran back and forth from dinosaur to dinosaur rawring! And you played in the sand pit for at least an hour!! You were running around in circles pointing, giggling, and giving your best rawrs!!!! You had so much fun. It was definitely an amazing weekend for our whole family.

You recently had your first dentist appointment too! So many new things. You have 16 teeth!!!! You did so well. You were very curious and didn't want to wear the bib they put on you but you did well with the dentist and you didn't cry or seem afraid at all. :)

You have definitely started experiencing very large emotions and you definitely express them. You've started tantruming and getting all those very big emotions out. Sometimes you hit but daddy and I set firm limits on hitting - we don't let you hit us. Otherwise you accept hugs and mommy milkies if you're having a really hard time. Already, I've noticed that you have a very strong personality and you really like for daddy or I to reach out to you - rather than for you to come to us. We will do our best to always reach out and be here for you - to be your rock through every single tough or difficult time that you have. Please always let us in and be there for you. <3 You are so important to us and you always will be.

I love you Noel <3 Love, mommy :)

15 months!

Dear Noel,
You have turned 15 months and I feel that an update is due! Why? Well, you have just grown so much and I need to document it. :D
Goodness gracious child LOL the faces you make! You have SO many faces; you're certainly animated. You make us laugh so much with just the faces you make.
You currently know 9 signs!! You know milk, please, more, food, eat, all done, bath, shows, and potty! You don't go potty yet but when I go potty you sign it and when I sit you on it just to get you used to the idea you sign it lol.
Your hair has gotten massively curly! I actually trimmed it for the very first time the other day because the back of your hair kept getting knotted because it was so dry and brittle from you laying on it, but since I've trimmed it it's been healthy and curly again! It's beautiful. :D

You also do the try to sing  songs and use signs for the songs the itsy bitsy spider, the wheels on the bus, and you know where your head, shoulders, toes, eyes, and nose are from the song head shoulders knees and toes. :p

You are SO smart and so helpful too! You help us clean up, you know where trash goes and you put it there, you know where toys go and you put them in the toybox, and you also know where the recycling bin is and when we hand you bottles you run into the other room to recycle them! At Mammy's house she has this little toy kitchen and when you were playing with it you were pretending to turn it on then you pretended to wash your hands, your face, and then your hair! haha, freaking adorable.
You and your sister as SO close and you love each other soo so much. <3 I hope the relationship and bond between you two never breaks.

One of the funniest things you do is "shush!" people hahahaha, it's so funny. When someone tries to talk or sing when you're focusing on something or upset then you shush them LOL Another funny thing is that you don't yet acknowledge that it's you on the camera when I'm taking a video or you in the mirror. So you tend to get very angry at the baby because you seem to feel mocked hhaha. You start yelling and getting hostile towards the image of yourself LOL
You also seem to not have much stranger danger. You love walking up to people and hugging people lol you are so social and the most loveable baby ever. You literally wake daddy and I up with kisses in the morning!! It's the sweetest thing.
Oh and you love your blankey. You sometimes drag it around the house. :P It's so cute. You remind me a lot of me when I was a little baby. :)




Today you accidentally got locked in the car :(. Thankfully a man came and jimmied the lock open so I could get you out. You were trapped in there for about 10-15 mins! But you were so brave. You didn't cry. At one point you did get unsettled and put your arms up and reached for me like, "why aren't you getting me out!?" But you did so well and you calmed down and I was able to get you out. We were at Don's lunch and afterwards we went inside and had some breakfast. You ate some french toast, eggs, toast, and homefries. :)











OH!! ANDDDDDD We are still nursing strong!!!!! :D 15 months!